sometimes being on this site makes me wonder who i am. i can look at this page and look at these words and these pictures and know that they arent mine, they havent come from me at all. sometimes i regret this. i worry that this really is me, that the me that's in my head right now is a delusion trying to kill everything good in my life. but i know that that's not right. that this is me, and all these photographs are just semblances of a life that will never be. and i'm ok, the tragedy, however, is that i allowed myself to be deluded for as long as i was i guess. but i think that it's better late than never to get back on track to the old self. we'll see how long it takes to get back into the swing of things. i know that there have been a lot of system upgrades since i've been around this brain of mine, and an overhaul of personnel but i guess that i would just like to say. introduce myself.

my name is kaja.

welcome back.